Only in Her Dreams

Sad Song

2010-03-23T00:12:00.001-04:00

I want to feel fragile
I want to feel pain
I want to close my eyes
And feel alive again
I want to listen to a sad song
Over and over for hours
Feel the song touching my bones
Draining me like dead flowers
Making my heart pound
Like it hasnt in years
Reminding me of worse days
Of old insecurities and fear
Of people I havent seen
Of places I so hated
Now seem so ordinary
Just so over-rated
My feet up and my head down
The song plays on and on
Time of no importance
The present is gone
The lyrics are about me
About a past so far
I want to feel the suffering
I yearn to be a part
But I am and it hurts
So much more than I know
The lyrics tell the story
I have been repressing it so
My heart normally beating
No love to make it stop
No point of feeling down
There's nothing to cheer me up

DEATH OF THE WORLD

2010-01-16T18:45:00.000-05:00

No one’s what they’re supposed to be
It’s all out there, but we refuse to see
The reality being twisted around
The fake scenes and the weird sounds
Of a life less ordinary than we were told
Guided by all that’s glitter and gold
The heart is dead, and no one’s winning
Even the world is no longer spinning
Yesterday seems like a long time ago
The days are so fast but the minutes slow
People walking around seeming a bit lost
Destroying everything, with no cost
Deceiving themselves and everyone
Sucking out all the happiness and fun
From the life that now seems hollow
So pointless and so difficult to swallow
Sometimes it’s so hard to understand
How they can live and just pretend
That it’s all normal and real
Living with black hearts that always heal
No conscience and no reason to cry
Faceless men who live without asking why
A blind world leading to a misguided end
Shallow love and no reason for a friend

(nameless)

2009-10-20T23:22:00.001-04:00

its all inside my twisted head
its all in the words i never said
in the thoughts that never part
my aging mind and aching heart
staring right at me in those nights
wide-eyed glaring at the lights
of the world i can barely feel
pretending to know whats real
the colors the people the scenes
i dont know what it all means
my anguish is what i know
the path it helps me draw
around that plague that blinds me
i run but it always finds me
trapped in a misleading cage
with wires created from my rage
im lost but theres no way out
theres no one to hear me shout
all alone in this fight defeated
im tired and im depleted
just want to walk away from me
im jaded from my sympathy
sleepless nights and endless thinking
barely living and never blinking
got to escape this world i created
before im forever faded

PLASTIC BAG

2009-09-30T01:04:00.000-04:00

just another morning
sitting here and wondering
what the world looks
on the outside
just another sweet smell
and the sun is shinning
on that beautiful face
that previously cried
just another scene
so lovely its linning
walking in this life
going on that ride
just another smile
forgetting the suffering
releasing the self
from the world that sighed
just another daydream
living in its happening
lost in its vastness
knowing it lied
just another sweet song
in your head it's singing
seeming to never end
annoyed, but you tried
just another evening
sitting there and wondering
how life used to be
just wanting to hide

Walking Backwards

2009-03-28T12:47:00.000-04:00

The days pass by and the nights are nearer
The skies are grey but they're so much clearer
Everything has a meaning and everyone knows
The highs are there but matter less than the lows
The smiles exist but less bright than the tears
Hope's in the heart but in the mind there's fear
That yesterday is gone and will never come again
That tomorrow holds tougher days and weaker men
With every hour passing there's a dream dying
With every minute wasted there's a chance flying
To create a better world and a good person
To fulfill a fantasy or reach an ambition
To be everything one can and all could aspire
A life full of hope and guided by untainted desire
As the path of existence grows narrower everyday
And it starts making sense the longing to pray
For time keeps moving and changing everything
Preparing us for what comes after our living

THE WRONG SIDE OF LIFE

2009-03-20T19:38:00.000-04:00

When the element of surprise becomes just too normal
When your wildest dream makes you feel only mortal
When the people you love turn into mere characters
In a silent play with no story, no tears, and no laughter
When your whole life is happening in a one-way mirror
Where the similarities of good and evil are clearer
Than the important things in life that once were
And the heart that was once filled with love and care
Now knows nothing but the sweet satisfaction of hate
Not even surprised at the cruelty that time can create
When life becomes just the very next step taken
Into the new born misery that will forever forsaken
The innocent mind that long ago thought it knew it all
Had the knowledge of how to overcome the fall
But fall it did and harder than you ever expected
The plan, once proud of, now no longer respected
When sleep becomes an illusion, not even an option
And your fantasies are another thing put up for adoption
When mornings become darker than the blackest night
Building up that constant urge to pick up a fight
With yourself, with the world, with anyone besides
That ugly face in the mirror that's always trying to hide
Behind the worst of your fears and the world you hate
Taking away all that you've ever loved and the one fate
You believed you deserved that last day you cried
That day when you rolled to the wrong side of life and died

Invisible

2009-03-19T20:16:00.001-04:00

Do you know what it's like to have a dream,
And see that dream shatter in your face?
Do you know what it's like to have hope,
And watch as it vanishes in your hardest days?
Do you know what it's like to have love,
And feel it backstabbing you when you need it most?
Do you know what it's like to lose that love?
You're just helpless; you know how much pain it costs?
Do you know what it's like to have a world?
A world you built with everything you had
With every bit of might and feeling and soul
If a dust was taken from it, wouldn't you feel sad?
What if that world was utterly destroyed to pieces?
Wouldn't you feel so empty inside, just stoned?
Wouldn't you feel your life has just been taken away,
And you have lost everything you ever owned?
What would you do if you lacked the will to rebuild,
If you lost the passion of dreaming up a new place?
What would you do if you just needed hope to begin,
And hope is a distant stranger these days?
What if love was the only cure, the only answer?
What if love was the only way to get back your dream?
And your love is just a memory of the past,
Do you know what it's like to be invisible, or to seem?

Hours That Feel Like Days

2009-03-18T07:54:00.000-04:00

Sitting here all alone, just the sound of my breathing
For hours that feel like days, staring at the ceiling
Thinking of the past, thinking of what I've left behind
Remembering how easy everything was, but how blind
I had been to leave all I knew and loved to come
To this unknown place, to its seducing beat and hum
In this other world, full of different shades and colors
Hiding its true realities, its own pains and troubles
Now lonliness seems my only friend, and I yearn
For the sincere happiness I feel in my memories to return
I had wanted what I didn't have, but the price I payed
Lost everything, lost myself, but wondering what I gained
As I sit here by myself, my mind clouded by so much to do
But unable to do anything, unable to see this life through

What Happens

2009-03-17T23:17:00.000-04:00

what happens when you wake up one day

and realise you've been dead for some time

what do you do when it suddenly hits you

that its been a while you havent been fine

you havent been breathing since that day

when you were running and suddenly stopped

your life kept moving but your mind didn't

you felt your whole body being dropped

but you didnt want to believe what you felt

and you didnt want to believe that youve lost

was it yourself or the world or simply everything

or was it that you didnt know what it cost

to run after your life while its being lived

and pretend to smile while you cant breath

because youre not really there and you know

the more you wait the harder it will be to leave

but you know you're wrong and it hurts

but you cant leave the truth and pain behind

because its all that you know from this world

denial has left you too weak and blind

do you know what happens if you gave up

if you changed and let yourself drop to the unknown

maybe its better maybe its good maybe its worse

than the unreal life you live that's made of stone

what happens if you wake up one day

and realised that you're breathing again

would hope kill you or even worse

would you be ready to drop hard again